Redefining What’s Enough

Ever found yourself caught in the relentless cycle of comparison, feeling like you're just not measuring up? Girl, same. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I was watching these people doing these things and buying these things and I'm here thinking like I want to look like that, or I want to travel there, or I want an office or a bedroom that looks like that, I want a house that looks like that.

Speaker 1: 0:11

Oh, I think it'd be nice to drive a car like that and I'm just adding fuel to the giant dumpster fire. That is. I'm not doing enough. I don't have enough. What's up? Stranger? Welcome back to donations. It's your host, donovan.

Speaker 1: 0:56

And can we just talk about growing pains? Really quick, in a figurative sense. I've been learning a lot of really tough lessons lately and it's been kind of hard to keep on keeping on. I'm trying to keep it very demure, very cutesy, but it hasn't been that easy, to be honest. But that's also a good thing, right, whenever it feels like you're in choppy waters, that's where you get to see what you're made of.

Speaker 1: 1:29

So, as you know, I used to have my trusty alarm clock, jet, but now Rue has sort of stepped into that role. Before Jet passed, she would always stay in bed and sleep in until about 9,. She would always stay in bed and sleep in until about 9, 9.30. Then she'd come moseying in to wherever I was by that time in the morning and let me know she was ready to go out. But now she likes to get up just before my alarm clock is set to go off and do the whole dog shake thing, which is just as loud as an alarm clock, and she'll sit at my side of the bed pawing at me until I get up to take her out. Only, I don't take her out. I get up and get about halfway across the room and she runs back to her bed and curls up to go back to sleep some more. And there I am, up and at it before I was supposed to be. It's crazy how life changes and we get called to action. Like I said, she never used to do that until recently and I wonder if she feels like she has new responsibilities when it comes to our life together. I wonder if she feels called to step up in a way. If you don't have a dog or a pet, get one. I swear they'll teach you lessons you never thought you'd learn and hold you accountable in ways that only enrich your life.

Speaker 1: 3:00

But with all that being said, I'm just going to give it to you straight. Here's the thing. No matter how hard I work, no matter how much I do, I feel like I'm not doing enough, and that thought alone has been really disorienting and unsettling. But on top of that is this layer of because I'm not doing enough. I therefore don't have enough, which is crazy to think, because I have a roof over my head, I have a shirt on my back, and that should be enough. So why doesn't it feel like enough lately, and that should be enough? So why doesn't it feel like enough lately? And after some pretty serious soul-searching, I've come to the realization that why doesn't my hard work feel like it's enough? Because I'm too busy comparing myself and the work I've done to the work someone else is doing, the wins, someone else is racking up and all they have because of those things I mean.

Speaker 1: 4:10

Just the other day, I was in a TikTok doom scroll once again and I was watching these people doing these things and buying these things. And I'm here thinking like I want to look like that, or I want to travel there, or I want an office or a bedroom that looks like that. I want a house that looks like that. Oh, I want to look like that, or I want to travel there, or I want an office or a bedroom that looks like that. I want a house that looks like that oh, I think it'd be nice to drive a car like that and I'm just adding fuel to the giant dumpster fire that is.

Speaker 1: 4:35

I'm not doing enough, I don't have enough, and that's all I see when I'm scrolling through social media Another win, another accomplishment, seeing someone else attain more and more. And this is all not to say or not to suggest that someone accomplishing something or having something is inherently wrong, because I'm the first person to cheer on my friends or any stranger I come across online or wherever it is. It's just this idea that having more is better, accomplishing more is better, that doing the most and having the most is the best way to live. And I'm letting that speak on my own life, my own progress, and allowing that to dictate my self-worth and allowing what someone else is or isn't doing to make me feel like I'm not doing enough. That's the problem. It brings to mind, while I was on that doom scroll, this overconsumption trend that I saw Like have you seen the videos where there's a girl getting her Stanley ready for a walk, or she's about to go on a road trip and she's putting the snack tray attachment on her Stanley and she adds all these white packages and lip glosses and lotions and stuff she might need on a walk.

Speaker 1: 6:00

And she's got all these snacks on her tray and the slot for her phone with a battery pack. And does it make me want all that stuff? Yes, it's all in my Amazon cart as we speak, but why haven't I purchased it yet? Because do I actually need all of that stuff to go on a walk or for a road trip? No, will it make the walk or the road trip better? Probably not. Some might beg to differ, but I don't think so. If it's a walk, I'm good with my water bottle and AirPods. If it's a road trip, just give me some hot Cheetos, sour Skittles and maybe a Coke Zero and let's go.

Speaker 1: 6:35

But it's almost like today's society doesn't let me feel like that's enough for long or at all, because all I'm seeing is more is better. And in that whole storm, I really get to thinking if everyone else is doing so much, if everyone else has so much and is attaining so much more and I'm here feeling like my days are melting together and I'm not getting anywhere, then the only solution is to do more right, and so I was texting a friend the other day and I brought up these feelings about not doing enough, feeling like I didn't have enough versus the rest of the world. And it was all a very validating conversation because she started telling me about her similar feelings and how overwhelming it feels when the world suggests, by its own ridiculous standards, that we're falling behind, or how helpless it can feel when the world says we aren't living a life worth living because our calendars aren't full or our car isn't the newest one on the lot or our house isn't the biggest on the block, and but how she keeps trust in herself that she is in fact doing enough more than enough actually and that she has more than enough because she chooses to focus on and live by her standards, but how it is human nature to want more after seeing someone else having more. And then she proceeded to turn the mirror on me and started listing all the things that I do and have that says I'm more than enough too, and it really got me thinking. How many times do we not give ourselves enough credit and I know I say that a lot, but seriously, how many times do we look at what we're not doing and what we don't have compared to someone else and let that tip the scale.

Speaker 1: 8:30

Like I mentioned before, I think a good chunk of it comes when we catch microscopic glimpses of people's lives and we think those ripped bodies and fancy houses and accomplishments represent their whole picture. But it's not just there, right. Environments like that can be cultivated in our offices or workspaces in different social settings, and a whole slew of experiences we find ourselves in on a daily basis. Right, it's not just all online, and some might argue that it's some sort of cover up or that behind the scenes, people are really unhappy and unfulfilled, caught up in the who has more game. But if you're anything like me, you might get a little tied up in all of it and run the risk of questioning or minimizing your self-worth because you think your life doesn't look the same or doesn't measure up, regardless of what's going on behind the scenes.

Speaker 1: 9:28

I think we combat that by instead asking what about what we do have, what we have done and what we are doing? What about those things? They matter, they hold weight and it's all more than enough. No comparison needed, no incessant need to attain more and more, because someone will always be doing more right and someone will always have more. But that doesn't mean that we should let that fact get us absorbed into some never-ending chase.

Speaker 1: 10:06

And when I was in the middle of that text exchange with my friend, feeling like I needed to do just that chase and chase for more and attain more and do more, I finally stopped and wondered if I feel like I don't have enough in my life right now, when will I, when will I allow myself to be grateful, to feel accomplished, to feel like I'm living a life of quality? Is it when I have more than someone else or is it when I have enough for me? Is there anything inherently wrong with wanting more? I think, when it comes to the form of personal growth and evolution and healing, absolutely not. There's nothing wrong with wanting more. I know that now, after being shown the light. But when we let society tell us newer, flashier, materialistic things and the things of vanity grant us a quote-unquote better life, constantly wanting to attain more in that sense fosters this perpetual sense of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment, and then we put ourselves at risk for chronic stress and burnout and ultimately neglect our well-being. That's when I question now if more is better.

Speaker 1: 11:33

You know, at the beginning of the episode I talked about my dog keeping me accountable. You know who else will keep you accountable? A really good friend, mine, brought me back to the present moment before I could let all this more, more, more run away with me. And that's where I need to be In the present moment, grounded and grateful and feeling like I already am and already have more than enough. When did wanting to attain more, this wanting to do more so that we're doing the most, or have the most, become the norm? Or has it always kind of just been this way? And I'm just at a point in my life where it's at the forefront of what I'm going through. I don't know. You tell me, and that my friend is a perfect segue into letting you know that you can text me now. Just check the description, on whichever platform you're listening on, and you'll see a link that says text me. Remember, you're more than enough. Until the next one, be careful. You.